He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
