You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
