marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
