My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
