return my video game
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
