Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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