If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
