remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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