i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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