Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
