I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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