I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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