he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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