And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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