I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
