Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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