I wanna passion pit in your ass
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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