i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just gift wrapped bread.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize