New invention idea: vibrating tampons
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
