i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
