Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
