I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
