I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
