I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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