Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
