I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
