i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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