Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
