Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
