sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
