Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I didn't notice because vodka
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
