You made me cry and you don't even care
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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