I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
