I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
