Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
