I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
