Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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