Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
