im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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