This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
