it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
