We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
