You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
