We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
