At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
