my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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