just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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