he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Screwed.edu
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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