I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
