He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
