That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
